Detaching from a financial opportunity is extremely hard. It always has been difficult to walk away from an income source, but more so now that the economy is so fragile and work insecure. But detaching from money that has a problematic aspect to it is our only option if we want to work in a positive space with positive people and to the benefit of our health.
If any of you watch “Millionaire Listing NYC” on Bravo, you might have seen the episode where Michael Lorber detaches from a co-listing with Fredrik Eklund because Fredrik is condescending and a bit of a bully to Michael. Frankly, Michael has a rather passive disposition, and was passive aggressive with Fredrik when the developer put Fredrik on Michael’s listings. The edited version of the detachment scene – over lunch, of course, so civilized – found Michael telling Fredrik that his feelings were hurt by Fredrik’s behavior towards him. Fredrik didn’t do very well in the feelings department; that’s not his style to operate with empathy or compassion towards a competitor, even a friendly competitor. Michael did what most people have a hard time doing: he detached from the project to free himself from negative behavior and to provide for himself a greater work space where he could have better control over the way he is treated. Granted, Michael already has money, and probably won’t suffer financially from this decision. Although, detaching is important for more than financial reasons; there is also the issue of reputation that people consider when they decide to leave a project or job. We risk a lot when we detach, but the gains we make for our happiness exceed everything.
I recently detached from a project involving a lot of money. But the more I worked on the project, the more I realized that the project wasn’t fully represented to me in the most accurate way. Details were omitted that cast a troubling pallor on the potential for a successful sale, and the potential for profit. The artifact existed, but the conditions surrounding the sale of it were, in my observation, destructive to the sale of an artifact; and because of this my time had the potential of being wasted. Time, accuracy, and positive conditions are more valuable to me than money. My priority in this project was the excitement of being part of the history of this artifact first, and financial reward second. Those priorities made it easy for me to detach.
Once I detached I left the space for a whole new project to open itself to me. And Michael Lorber was open to a whole new project, as well, once he left Fredrik.
If all of the philosophers and gurus that Oprah has on her life classes are correct when they say that we are in control of the energy that surrounds us by making decisions that have well-founded motives, then the gold is in our decisions and not in money.